50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
Everyone keeps using “BDSM” in the same sentence as “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but not to say that FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS NOT BDSM AT ALL. For alllll those wonderful reasons highlighted up there ^^^ FSOG is NOT an example of BDSM and it is not even close. It is an abusive relationship. Ana becomes fearful and starts hiding things or complying with him so he won’t lash out. Being afraid in a relationship is a major red flag of abuse. And not to mention the sexual assault. Someone already pointed out up there ^ that he continued after she used her safe word. That. Is. Rape. Plus he later used alcohol to sway her consent. And in case anyone didn’t know, when someone is intoxicated, they LEGALLY cannot consent. So by LAW he is a RAPIST. This is a disgusting book romanticizing domestic violence, domestic abuse, an unhealthy relationship, and sexual assault. It plays on the notion that ‘all women want to be submissive’ or what the fuck ever. No one should ever read this trash, unless it’s to learn what kind of man NOT to date. Not to mention, it’s written like the author was five. Burn your local copies of Fifty Shades of Grey. Do your local BDSM community, and all the women you know a huge favour.
DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE HELD HER
TELL ME AGAIN THAT HIS FEELINGS FOR HER ARE GONE
Lydia, it wasn’t your fault. I was there too.
- Stydia fandom right now (via family-friends-and-fandom)
HE PULLED HER TO HIM PROTECTIVELY, HE GRABBED HER FACE, HIS FINGERS WERE ON HER LIPS
STYDIA SHIPPER DOWN
Dylan O’Brien on Stydia and who Stiles should be with
Stiles’s thoughts exactly
Can we just …
Look at Changmins face when there is always a Yunjae momentand watch as he tries to prevent to make a scene . I never really notice Changmin because duh Yunjae is like hardcore .But then i saw Changmins acts and reaction and poor boy . Changmin #1’s Yunjae cockblocker!
ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH